Oh Crap...

...Uffa! Today is Sant'Ambrogio, so its basically a holiday for the Milanese, and anyone in the surrounding area who does not want to work. Pia's preschool is on holiday. Max went to work the 6 am shift. Had a hard time going to sleep last night, so I had a hard time getting up when Soph crawled into the bed. Then it was to the kitchen for milk and cheerios. I asked several times if she had to go pee or poop, of course the answer, as usual was a curt 'NO, THANK YOU!' When we finished I sat down at the computer to read the news, and i saw her do the poop face, so i asked yet again, and of course i got the same response. So I head towards the bathroom to take a shower, there I am buck naked, water running and who comes along and says 'pee pee mommy?' It's now winter here, im freezing (and you know how it is with toddlers, EVERYTHING i do in the bathroom i do with the bathroom door opened!), so really what can i do? i quickly yank down the pull-ups and her jammy pants toss the little potty training toilet seat on the toilet and plop her down....when...comes wafting out a terrible smell and mushy poop smushes all over the little blue seat. 'Shit', i think to myself...how clichè of me. Soph and her OCD are freaking out, 'poop mommy, yucky' as she smushes her finger into the gunk. And of course she is scared, so she goes directly for my hair to cuddle for comfort, which is dangling loosely every where because if you remember, i was about to step in the shower. I think by now it was now dipping into the poop on the toilet too. So I try to completely yank off her pants and pull-up smearing poop down her leg, which then touches the toilet and now its EVERYWHERE. could it get worse? well yes, apparently so...not growing up in Europe, I usually am not a big fan of the bidet, but conveniently its located right next to the toilet and easier to use than the shower or bathtub in these types of situations, so i plop her down, only then realizing that the poop really is everywhere. For anyone who is a mom, you've seen that poopy diapers can literally leave a trail of poop up all over the back and up to the armpits. Anyone seen 'Death at a Wedding' - it was getting to be near that scene with uncle alfred in the bathroom. I'm trying to wash off sophia, but the poop is everywhere, and just seems to be conquering new territories...she's wiggling and crying and poop water is splashing everywhere, it's also now in more than just my hair! Still buck naked in the middle of winter, i now need to creep onto sophia's balconey to throw away the poopy diaper because thats where we keep the smelly container. and of course she doesnt wanna get dressed so i have to chase her around the house to get her poopy onsie off and clean clothes on. so now ive now flashed the west and east sides of the town, Happy Sant'Ambros Cologno Monzese! why doesnt this stuff ever happen when max is home??