pulling out my hair

max and i will be twins soon!
sophia was so excited about seeing martina today that she didnt nap or eat a snack. so by the time martina got here, she was soooo over-stimulated. so of course they bickered and fought over toys (which i realize is normal for 2 'only child' kids) . by the time martina left, things had escalated and sophia was hysterical. of course as soon as i shut the door, the phone rang. it was now 8 and sophia was totally out of control. i debated about answering the phone, i was sure it was the nonno. but i knew if i didnt, he'd call back a million times worrying about what happened to us or it would be some horridly bad news so id feel guilty about not answering the phone in hindsight. so, of course i answered it. it was the nonno, who i couldnt even hear because sophia was screaming level to the speaker half of the phone. nothing drastic, so i tried to get off - this is the part that kills me. the conversation is with me, not with sophia but every time the nonno starts shouting a conversation sophia, as if ive passed the phone to her - but i havent! it goes like this:
-hello?(sophia crying in background).
-hi luis(they still dont know my name), its, oh madonna, me, whats wrong, beppe.
-hi, dont worry its just sophia having a tantrum.
-i was just wondering what SOPHIA IT'S NONNO, TELL NONNO WHAT'S THE MATTER what time you were SOPHIA IT'S NONNO coming over IT'S NONNO; IT'S NONNO tommorrow OH MADONNA MIA QUESTA BIMBA. Will you DONT CRY SOPHIA IT'S ME NONNO BEPPE arrive DAI, SOPHIA in time for TOMORROW YOU WILL BE WITH NONNO, DON'T WORRY for lunch?
all the time im at my wits end and trying to calm sophia and convince the nonno that sophia is not on the phone, but i am. and neither of us has bad hearing so in any case there is no need to shout. nor do i have any of the information because it all depends on max, since he works late. could he please call him. or could we please call back later. luckily the one thing that italians never want, is for their grandchild to die of starvation. so when i finally got it in that we hadnt eaten yet, since martina just left, he quickly got off the phone and saying he guessed maybe he'd call max to find out (didnt i say to do that??). aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! oh, grandparents!!! (that is not said as an ode, but as a big sigh!)
then i did the stupid thing to call max and tell him to call his dad, because i know that beppe doesnt usually call max on the cell phone, even if he said he will. and if we dont tell them we arent coming in time for lunch the nonna will have fixed a great big lasagna and roast by 6 am. and i asked oh do you have a second before i did a replay of the conversation. where i was hurried off the phone mid sentence and being told there is no time and all of a sudden he has to work. just for that i am going to tell my dad that max wants to hear all about dogs and fishing the next time my parents call and then im going to shove sophia in his lap and poke her reallyyyyyyy hard! that will teach him for not empathizing!
and then the vendetta for snapping away all her childhood comforts is the fact that every time i wash the floors (which is not often since i hate it) sophia re-marks her territory. the same goes for her arm chair (or the stinking chair as she calls it - not because she pees on it all the time, but because the one in blue's clues is called the thinking chair. she heard her cousin natalie say it once and the name stuck. in any case it is still apropos). it never fails. i clean the floors. ask a million times if she had to pee. nope, nope, nope - the usual response...and then sploosh...